The Dangerous Games
by literaryobsession
Summary: As Victors, Cato and Clove were showered with fame and money that they have been dreaming off since they had been tributes. But soon, the Capitol starts showing its true colors and Clove doesn't know if she was living the dream or a dangerous nightmare. Can she find a way out?
1. Savior

**Chapter 1**

 **Savior**

" _You said her name. I heard you. You kill her?" He repeated, a hint of danger in his voice. "You cut her up like you were going to cut up this girl here?"_

" _No! No. I- Cato! Cato!" This was my last resort. I had to call my District partner. I had to call to him for help. I remembered in snippets how I told Cato back in District 2 how I would not call to him for help but… this time I have to. He's my only hope. "Cato!" I tried to move, as though it would let me escape, "Cato!"_

 _I saw Eleven take a stone from the ground._

I closed my eyes and anticipated the pain that was coming. For a minute, I waited but when I opened my eyes… Thresh was impaled with a bloody spear. His grasp on my shirt loosened up and he sunk to the ground. I whipped my head up and gave out a sigh of relief, "Cato."

There was a cannon sound after I realized that I had been saved. Eleven was dead.

I met Cato's eyes and he looked panicked, as though he was afraid of something. It was there for a moment then it disappeared when we heard the shuffling of feet. I remembered we were not alone. Katniss Everdeen was getting away. I took out a knife from my jacket and flicked it towards her. My blade went deep in her shoulder, I only aimed to give her an injury. She gave out a sound of pain and then she fell on the ground.

"May I?" I smirked at Cato.

He nodded and gestured with a hand, "Be my guest."

I made my way towards Twelve, like a predator would with a prey. I loomed over her and took out my knife from her back. Katniss groaned in pain and I smiled, _This is going to be fun._ I turned her around and she looked up at me with those eyes – those steel grey eyes that were hardening with each second. She did not want to be defeated, even in death.

"May I continue?" I pinned her down and chuckled as she tried to get me off her. I wanted to continue what I had left with. I took out my dainty knife again and without any warning, cut up the outline of her lips. She had tried so hard to push them together but the pain had been too much for her. I laughed.

I just laughed at her.

I continued with her cheeks, forehead and arms. I carved her skin with my many knives, it was fun. She screamed loudly and I did not stop. I only decided to finally kill her when Cato called out my name which brought me back to my senses. With a swift strike, I plunged my knife into her heart. Almost at once, as if the Capitol was expecting it, her cannon sounded.

"Why did you stop me?" I growled at him softly as we took our bag.

Cato smirked and laughed, "Even though that was really fun to watch, it was dragging. I got tired in hearing her scream." He then flung his large arm on my shoulder, "Two to go."

"Lover Boy and that red-haired girl." I murmured softly.

"That girl is not going to last long, she looks completely starved." Cato commented, "Good thing she disappeared in the woods, I stopped running after her and heard you shout my name." He turned to me, his eyes serious, "I was scared that I wouldn't be able to get to you on time."

"But you did."

Cato took his arm from my shoulder and faced me, "Thresh could've killed you. He could've killed you if I didn't get to you on time." He threw a dirty look towards the impaled body of District 11 before looking back at me, "I should never have left you alone."

I frowned up at Cato, "But you saved me."

"I did." Cato's lips finally went into a small smile, "I don't know what I'd do if you died." His eyes watched me carefully. He lifted a hand to my cheek and wiped off something, "You're dirty. Twelve's blood."

I chuckled, "That reminds me. Their backpacks. We better get them because no one else would use them anyway." I went towards Twelve's body which was in the pool of her own blood. I slashed off the tiny backpack she had and opened it, "Medicine for Loverboy."

"What are you going to do with that?" Cato raised an eyebrow.

I took the vial of medicine and stared at it for a moment. I uncorked it and dumped the clear liquid on the grass. I smirked with satisfaction – it seemed like I was going to get my wish of Lover Boy dying the way I wanted him to suffer.

"I want Twelve to die a slow and agonizing death. He's probably dying from blood poisoning now." I also took Eleven's backpack before turning to Cato, "Let's go before these bodies start to stink up." We started to walk away from the Cornucopia, there was a feeling of joy rippling inside of me. We actually had a chance to go back to our District together. I spoke again, "What shall we do now?"

"Hunt for the redhead." He said as he continued walking towards some group of trees. There were no danger lurking for us here now.

I stopped and looked at Cato, "But we haven't seen her for the last few days, where do you think we can actually find her?"

He shrugged, "We have to try."

"I'd rather watch Lover Boy die." I laughed and looked around, "This is going to be boring." I turned my head and heard a rumble from a few distances from us. "What is that?"

Cato was staring at some trees. I followed his gaze and saw a pile of trees falling to the ground. We heard a scream, a scream of a girl – it must be the redhead. "There she is." He raised a hand and pointed towards the small figure trying to avoid the falling debris. "C'mon. Let's get her."

We started running towards her – this was another plot from the Gamemakers to point out the nearest tributes to the other tributes. They also seemed to push the odds to our favor, they wanted us to narrow the field as fast as possible.

When we got close, we were already at the clearing, I raised a knife and threw it towards her. My blade buried itself in her thigh and she rolled to the ground. The trees stopped falling and the earth became still. The redhead clutched her thigh and groaned in pain. Her eyes caught a sight of us and it widened in fear.

Cato took his sword from its place in his side and killed the redhead in one blow. Her cannon resounded. It was followed by another cannon.

"Lover Boy's dead."

"We're the only ones left."

There was a feeling of happiness stirring in my heart. We did it. We made it. Cato and I were going home together. There was absolutely no need for one of us to die.

Cato turned his eyes to me and there was a huge smile on his face. He took a step towards me and cupped my face with his calloused hands. I drowned under his blue eyes. Before I could realize what was happening, he was already kissing me. His lips was warm, gentle and loving as they caressed mine. I responded in a way that I could not fathom how I was able to. I just could. I just did. I gripped his jacket and pulled him closer – we did not think about what the Capitol people would think now. We won. We were coming home.

That is what mattered.

We separated, feeling absolutely proud of ourselves.

"Attention. Attention tributes." I listened carefully and my eyebrows met in confusion. Weren't we supposed to be declared Victors now?

"There has been a slight rule change. The previous revision allowing Two Victors from the same District has been revoked and only one Victor can be crowned. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor."

And then our worlds came crashing down.


	2. Sacrifice

**Chapter 2**

 **Sacrifice**

Another rule change?

I met Cato's blue eyes with mine, he looked alarmed and scared. I could feel my breath getting shorter. We weren't going home together, there would only be one Victor. We had to choose who goes and who dies. I could feel my brain working hard to create a plan on how I could convince Cato to kill me, or even to fight with me.

"Don't." Cato told me. The sun rising was illuminating his skin and his hair. I could see how the Games aged him. There were lines on his face, bags under his eyes and sadness in his expression. "Don't you even dare, Clove." He whispered to me.

There was complete silence in the arena. There was only him and me now, I don't think birds would even want to make a sound. At this moment, I am sure that everyone, especially the Capitol people, were watching intently and not a breath was released. The wind blew softly and the only sound I could hear was my heart pounding in my chest.

I saw Cato's hand move and it went to unsheathe his sword from his side. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes – this is it.

 _thud._

My eyes opened in surprise. His sword, which was supposed to be my death, was on the ground. I looked back up at him, "Cato. Why?"

"I couldn't. I won't. I will not." He shook his head before extending his arms wide, as though he was going to fly any minute now. Cato turned his face to the sky and closed his eyes, "Go on."

I was taken aback at his actions. Was he really thinking that I would kill him for my own purposes? Hasn't he learned anything about me yet? What about the kiss?

"No, Cato. I won't."

Cato's eyes met mine and from the look he gave me, he knew that I wasn't going to attack him and I never planned to. We spent a few more minutes of silence and then we heard noise from a distance. It got louder and louder, as if it was – they were – getting nearer. The sound was growling from an animal we don't have any knowledge of. It was louder than any wolf's, angrier than any bear's and more dangerous than anything we might have studied about.

"What the hell was that?" I asked as I turned my head towards the sound.

Cato frowned and took his sword from the ground and got ready – I copied him. I drew one of my knives from its sheathe and went into battle stance. The sound seemed closer, it mixed with the fast beat of my heart. "Cato. They're…"

The creatures in front of me were not wolves, they were larger.

"Run!" Cato shouted at me as he tugged on my arm. We started running and we heard the mutts running after us, hunger growling in their throats. We sped towards the forest and from behind us, we heard branches breaking, as though these creatures were invincible enough to break such thick materials. I didn't stop running until I heard nothing behind me – I couldn't even hear Cato's presence anywhere. We must've separated along the way.

I leaned on a tree and tried to catch my breath.

I was suddenly gripped by fear. If the mutts were not after me, they might be after Cato. They were still after Cato. I stood up and with the last burst of energy running through my veins, I ran. I carefully listened to the sound of movement or at least a sound of a voice.

 _crack._

At the sound, I whipped my head and saw a mutt with bright grey eyes and dark fur. Its eyes looked familiar. Its eyes looked like they recognized me. Its eyes were from Katniss Everdeen.

"Fuck." I stepped back as it growled at me. Eleven's bag, which was only flung into one side of my shoulders slid down from my arms to the ground. This was better. I had two bags with me and it would have been difficult to fight with both.

The mutt took a step forward as though analyzing silently what I am going to do. My hands trembled as I took knives from my jacket. I clenched my knife tightly, this was going to be my lifeline. If something goes wrong, I would die.

The mutt charged and its force threw me on the ground. I avoided its teeth, swiped my knife on its chest and dragged down to open the cavity. The creature gave out a sound of a whimper before collapsing over me. There was no more room for error, I thought as I pushed the dead mutt away from me. I was drenched in its blood but I thought nothing of it – I have to protect myself and get to Cato.

I took Eleven's bag and slung it on one shoulder and started searching for my District partner.

"Cato!" I screamed out his name. If there would be mutts which would listen and decide to come after me, I'm ready… I just have to find Cato first. I have to. "Cato!" I repeated as I ran past the trees.

There was no sound of cannon yet and I was glad of that.

"Cato!"

"Clove!" I heard the most beautiful sound in the world. I went towards the direction of the voice and saw him taking his sword from the body of a dead mutt. He had fought off two – both with fair furs. He turned his head towards me and smiled. I ran towards him and lunged myself at him. Cato caught me in his steady arms and embraced me tightly. "Fuck. I thought you were lost somewhere."

"Me too." I closed my eyes and bit my lip. I was so afraid he'd be dead when I find him. I pulled away and stared into his eyes, "We have to survive."

"We'll kill all the mutts they send us." He agreed as he let me down on the ground. Cato analyzed how I looked like and asked, "Why do you look so…bloodied up?"

I rolled my eyes, "Killed one by opening its chest."

"Why can't you kill without being a show off?" He laughed.

"I like good…" Five more mutts emerged from the group of trees behind Cato. "Turn around." I took another pair of knives from my jacket and he held his sword securely in his hand. These mutts reminded us of some of the tributes we killed in the bloodbath – they must be here for revenge.

The mutts did not wait another moment. All of them attacked all at once. I threw my knife straight at the eyes of one and Cato swung his sword to behead it. I couldn't take a chance, I was my best when throwing knives so that was what I did. Cato was also in his own element as he took on the mutts with his sword. I hurled another knife towards another mutt, my knife went in between its eyes and it was killed instantly.

"Fuck!"

Cato fell to the ground. I didn't know how he got his injury but his arm looked bad. I went towards him, "Shit Cato, what the hell happened?"

"A mutt was going after me. It growled and I took my chance. I struck him in the mouth. It died and its teeth injured my arm." He held his hand and I frowned, "My sword is still in its throat." He cursed again as he looked at his arm. It had been wounded from his forearm to his hand. The wounds didn't look like it was deep but it did look like it hurt.

"Let me get it for you." I said and pulled a knife out. I went towards the mutt that Cato was pertaining to. I grabbed its head and slit its throat. The blade of Cato's sword was stuck in its throat, the hilt must be in its mouth. "Damn." I whispered as I opened the mouth, I took hold of the hilt and pulled it out. "Ew." I handed the saliva-covered sword back to Cato who seemed to have been watching me with amusement.

"Thank you." He chuckled softly.

"Aren't you supposed to be hurting?" I snarled, "C'mon. We have to find the other mutts." We couldn't do anything about Cato's hand. We were both out of supplies… "Cato. What was in our bag?"

Cato shrugged, "Let's open it." He was the one who had carried our bulky bag and I carried Eleven's bag. Cato opened ours and it carried one full body armor and new set of throwing knives, these looked more fatal and more lethal. "Gorgeous." He whistled.

Eleven's bag was smaller but it looked more important than ours. It had two pieces of bread and a canteen which was filled with some kind of fruit juice. It looked like something straight from District 11, something from his home. Suddenly, I felt guilt when I saw what it contained. He must not have been needing anything in his solitude but he felt homesick – his mentors must have felt like this would give him the purpose he must have lost in his stay here.

"Stop thinking." Cato lifted his eyes at me and took one of the breads from my hands and bit off of it. "We're left. We have to survive whatever it is that the Gamemakers throw at us."

"I guess." I shrugged. "Put on your armor and I'll get ready." I sat down on the ground and ate, it was better to consume them than to spoil them all. When I started eating, I've discovered just how hungry I was. I was still hungry after eating the small bread and sharing the juice with Cato. "Let's go finish this."

"I can't believe they changed the rules." Cato growled after he had put his armor on. He looked angry, like I was but I was better at focusing on things than what had transpired earlier. I was trying to think about how we were going to go home together, "I was ready to become Victor. I was ready to come home."

I looked up at him and nodded, "I know but Cato…" And then it all clicked. "They want only one Victor." He whipped his head at me and his expression was less than amused, "We. Have. To. Fight." I said through gritted teeth.

Cato stared at me for a while and nodded silently. He waited for me to stand up and held his sword with his good hand.

He stepped forward.

I stepped back.

We did this until I felt a tree securing me on my spot. Cato trapped me with his arms hindering any forms of escape. He raised his sword and directed the blade to the skin of my neck. I took one of my new knives, the large serrated one and pointed it on his neck.

"In the end, there will be _Two._ " He whispered.

" _Two_ or nothing."

We both pressed our blades on each other. Cato's eyes narrowed in pain that he didn't want to show. I bit my lower lip as I felt blood on my neck. There was also blood blossoming on the paleness of his neck. This will be painful and slow. This will be a show that would make history.

"Cato."

"Clove."

We took a deep breath and smiled ruefully at each other.

"I love you."

My heart beat painfully, "I love you too."

And with the same movement, we slit our necks.

"Stop!" A voice overhead shouted in alarm. "Stop!" There was a deep breath and then the voice continued, "Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the Victors of the 74th annual Hunger Games! Cato Byrnes and Clove Holt! I give you – the tributes from District Two!"


	3. Victors

**Chapter 3**

 **Victors**

 _No scar._

I traced the smoothness of my neck and stared at myself in the mirror. It has been two days since we were announced as Victors in the 74th Hunger Games. The blades has served their purpose already, they were both pressed into our necks and did more damage than the Gamemakers have anticipated. Cato and I nearly died after the announcement. We were both dizzy as they took us up the hovercraft and passed out when the Capitol doctors started preventing more blood loss. We were unconscious the rest of the day and woke up early the next day. After waking up and ensuring that we were both fine, Brutus and Enobaria took us to our stylists to get ready for the interview tonight with Caesar Flickerman.

Gone was the soldier from the Games whose hair has not been washed for days and whose skin was stained with dried mutation blood. The soldier was transformed to a Victor whose skin is as smooth as fine marble and whose face was glowing like the sun. Junius dressed me in a red dress which he commented was made to remind the audience of my blood hungry nature in the Games. He mentioned that Cato would be dressed in black but the collar of his tuxedo would be the same hue as my dress. He and Cato's stylist, Karra, were too excited to dress both Victors who were lovers.

"The Capitol is raving about the whole Games." Junius entered the room (it was a room used to prepare the Victor and was only a level up from where the interview would be held) and I made no attempt to shun him out. After the Games, I was more relaxed with everything. I mean, c'mon, there was no impending death for us in the near future. "They were asking Karra and I about your relationship before the Games but I didn't spill." He laughed as though he was part of a secret.

My stylist stood behind me and smiled fondly, "You look lovely, Clove." He held both hands and pressed them on his chest. "I can't wait to dress you during the Victory Tour. I will start making dresses for you starting tomorrow. I only have a few months to go."

"I never thanked you, Junius." I spoke, my voice hoarse because of the two-day rest. "Thank you for the dress…during the interview." My lips slowly formed a small smile, "And for this."

I did look lovely.

My gratitude made him cry. I was overwhelmed by his reaction and was a bit teary myself – who knew that being appreciative of other people could warm up your heart? I didn't know that. I have never really been grateful of anything. Aside from Cato and my grandmother, I never thanked anyone sincerely in my whole life. But after the Games, I saw the world in a new light. I was thankful of the life I was allowed to have. I didn't think that I would be thankful to the Capitol for changing the rules again. I wanted to thank President Snow for giving me Cato.

So far, I have been liking how people would react to my gratefulness.

A staff from the Caesar Flickerman's show knocked on the door and requested for me to go immediately because the show is about to begin. I nodded and Junius led me down. I would be entering through the entrance which we had used during the tribute interviews. I looked around, hoping Cato would be there and frowned when I didn't find him. "Where's Cato?"

"Missing me already, little Clover?" Cato stood beside me and he smirked down at me. He looked…handsome in his black tux. He offered me his arm and I held unto him. I gripped the fabric of his coat and took a deep breath. Then I remembered his arm.

"They fixed your arm."

"They did." He nodded after chuckling. "They fixed you up well. You look like a sane person now."

I smirked and shook my head, "You look like a sane person yourself but you and I know very well that we aren't the sanest person around." We laughed. We heard Caesar's voice greeting the Capitol which was then followed by applause. Caesar introduces our prep team with Karra and Junius garnering thunderous applause for the design they did during the Tribute Parade. Our District Escort, Andrew Smotherbee, also received the warmest welcome from the audience. Our proud mentors, Capitol favorites, Brutus and Enobaria received a deafening applause from the crowd. They have done a first – to bring not one but two Victors.

"And now, the Victors you have all been waiting for, let us all welcome Cato Byrnes and Clove Holt! Victors from District Two!"

We entered, practically linked together, and the crown goes wild. The audience – those who were in the studio – were giving us a standing ovation. Cato and I embraced how warmly they welcomed us. We both waved at all of them before we settled into a plush white velvet couch. The arm that I had clung to moved until Cato's hand was woven tightly with mine. I sent him a smile.

Caesar Flickerman smiled at us, like a fond father. He told a few jokes which Cato and I had been amused with – I didn't laugh but smiled nonetheless. He then announced that there shall be a recap of the Games, as always. Usually, the Capitol will be shown a condensed video of a single tribute's journey towards victory but this year, they were presented with a love story between two Career tributes.

They captured the glances I gave to Cato and Glimmer; Cato squeezed my hand every time. There was also a shot of my playful banter with Cato which questioned his leadership, the audience gave off chuckles at his reactions. A shot showed how I nursed Cato after we got stung, which made me look like I actually cared about him. I did but I didn't know would actually be obvious. The main scene they focused was our reactions to the announcement that there can be two Victors from the same District, we had similar looks of pure joy. Apparently, Katniss had looked for Peeta after the announcement. They showed the feast and how I screamed for Cato. The part which I had been surprised to see was Cato's abrupt stop on following the redhead when he heard my voice. His face drained with color and he had turned around, ran as though his life depended on it and shouted my name. He had been scared to hear me call for him. Katniss' death made us look like a totally insane couple. I had turned away, being shy, when they showed a clip of our kiss. Our separation when the mutts chased us was also there. Cato also tried to look for me, but was only stopped when he encountered two mutts. They completely utilized and romanticized our decision to die in each other's hands. The video died down to darkness and it was only then that it was announced, ""Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the Victors of the 74th annual Hunger Games! Cato Byrnes and Clove Holt! I give you – the tributes from District Two!"

There was applause and even tears in the end. The recap made us look like those characters from that old book, the book where the couple died for each other because it was them against the world.

 _Romeo and Juliet._

"Wasn't that quite a treat, ladies and gentlemen? A love story in the Games." Caesar wiped a stray tear from his cheek. The audience agreed. "We can all see how devoted you are to one another. However, I am disappointed that I wasn't able to guess that you were actually lovers!"

"We liked secrecy. We didn't also want to be our weakness in the Games." Cato answered, his hand squeezed mine again.

I gave a nod, "Besides, everything worked well, didn't it Caesar?"

"Well of course!" He chuckled, "But Cato, you were seen flirting with Glimmer! Why was that so?" Caesar leaned forward and a hush fell on the people. Everyone, especially me, was waiting for the answer.

Cato smirked, "All part of a plan to divide and conquer."

"Brilliant!" Caesar exclaimed.

"I was not in on the plan though." I frowned, trying to get a reaction from everyone. Everything was light. Everything is a game to us from this point forward. The Capitol people are so easy to manipulate… I may have been grateful but my nature has not changed completely.

The audience aww'd.

"All part of a plan." Cato gave me a crooked smile.

"So, I think the audience would not forgive me if I didn't ask this, you came to the Games together. I am sure that you did not have a vague idea that there will be a rule change so what if it didn't? What then?"

Cato and I went silent.

It was I who answered, as truthfully as possible. "The initial plan was to give the Capitol the best finale they have ever seen."

Caesar smiled, "You did give us the best finale."

"It would be us or nothing. It has always been us against the world." Cato said softly, "Especially after the rule change, we had hope. We are glad they reconsidered again." We stared into each other's eyes. "I am so glad."

"I especially wanted to thank President Snow for his generosity." I said after and the audience agreed. "If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have lived at all."

Cato looked down and smiled bashfully, a look I never thought I'd get to see, "Even I wouldn't have."

Caesar turned to the audience, "I hate to break this up but we shall be having the official interviews tomorrow. Tune in tomorrow for the continuation of the interview with our new Victors!" He bade the audience good night and we are whisked away to the banquet in the President's mansion.

We were there together with our team, as well as important Capitol people and officials. The coronation happened there and I was correct when I thought that the Victor crown would make me beautiful, it did. I also managed to meet President Snow personally who smelled strongly of roses.

"You're welcome." Were the first words the President said to me. "Not everyone acknowledges opportunities given to them."

"I am in debt to you, President." I looked up at the man and sniffed another scent. I am familiar with the scent of rust and blood but I was not sure as to why the President smelled like it.

He smiled, which made the hair at my nape stand. "Then we shall see how you can repay me." President Snow chuckled. An Avox with a tray of drinks went towards us and offered us one each. The President took them and handed one to me, "While we have not yet decided how you can, I suggest you enjoy the night, Clove."

I nodded. In the back of my head, I felt a twinge of regret on saying anything about the debt. I went back to Cato, whom I left with Brutus. They were both surrounded by Capitol women who were taking photos with both Victors. There was a pang of jealousy in me but it immediately became forgotten when Cato noticed me. He excused himself, turning completely stoic, and went towards me.

"What did the President say?"

I smiled as I took a sip of the liquid in my glass, "He said that I better get you before you get eaten up alive by the Capitol women who adore you too much."

Cato shook his head and laughed, "Jealous?"

"Oh I'm not worried. There are so much bread knives to use to slit their pretty necks, I'm pretty flexible." I shrugged and was surprised when Cato planted a quick kiss on my lips. "Fuck Cato. You have to stop doing that!" I blushed.

"Temptations." He offered me his hand. When I took it, Cato led me to the dance floor. We danced the night away. Cato handled his popularity very well. Unlike him, I wasn't open to taking pictures and signing autographs for the Capitol. They were too much too soon. I managed to survive the entire night and also the interview the night after.

There was nothing too special about the interview with Caesar Flickerman. We were completely at ease about his questions that I even managed to make the audience (the interview would be filmed but the staff and our team were present) laugh twice. They sucked up our romance like sponge and Cato was having fun with it like I was. He had whispered to me how he loved seeing the look of wonder and delight on their faces whenever we would tell each other sweet statements. We were not fans of too much touching so we made up for words. We played them like pieces on our own Games.

We meant the words, of course, but somehow these weren't the kind of words we would say in front of people which we did because of pure boredom and amusement.

After that, we were to be driven back to the train which would take us back to District Two. From personal experience, I knew that there would be a party waiting for us when we arrive.

Cato and I settled into the sitting room of the train and finally met our mentors after a long time. Brutus engulfed us both in a warm hug. Enobaria looked proud and just watched as Brutus chatted away with us.

Enobaria stood and went towards the window, she gestured for me to come to her. I did. "Congratulations Clove. I didn't expect you would actually fall in love with Cato but it all worked out." She shook her head and then smiled. Was that a smile of sympathy or joy? "President Snow told me what you told him."

"That I was in debt to him?"

She nodded and licked her lips, "Enjoy it while it lasts, Clove."


	4. Home

**Chapter 4**

 **Home**

"Clove!" Calla was one of the persons waiting for us in the train station. It was a surprise that I was able to hear her. District Two was in a festive mood and everyone cheered when we got out to meet them. The Mayor was the first person to welcome us home; he even invited us for lunch tomorrow. He also informed us that there will be a party tonight in the square for us.

"I knew you could make it." Ram, the Head of all four Career Centers, told us but I felt like he did not say it to me but to Cato. "You have brought pride to our district." Behind him was Spade (the Head of our Career Center), Blank and Calla.

I also saw Cato's family right behind them. His mother was carrying a grinning Cassandra. Cyril and Cyrus ran towards us and hugged us both, "Congratulations!" They said to us. Cato carried his brothers up and smiled fondly at his mother and sister.

"Welcome home." His mother said when she came close. She also turned to me and smiled happily, "I am so glad you returned together." She must have been frightened in the duration of the Games.

Cassandra was watching Cato with her big blue eyes. She smiled, not uttering a word but I knew she was the happiest to have Cato back.

"Did you already move to the Victor's Village?" I asked Cato's mother. She shook her head, "Why not?"

"We wanted to wait for you to come home but the Capitol people did say we could already move." The gentle woman said.

Cato looked at me and nudged me gently, "Your grandmother."

I immediately searched for a familiar face in the crowd. Magdalena was there but my grandmother was not. I walked towards my mother, completely ignoring the people who were congratulating me. My mother looked at me intently, her lips was tightly pursed.

"Where is she?" I asked Magdalena.

My mother shook her head, "She's gone."

"What?"

I frowned deeply and growled at my mother. "You're lying." People around us went silent that even Cato, who was a bit far from me, heard what I said. "Where is she?!"

"Go ahead and check." She said with a hollow tone.

I did.

The cemetery was in the far end of the District. It was not the most important part of the District – when people die, no one really wants to remember them anymore. The only person who actually goes here is the caretaker who is paid by families to keep the grass from growing tall. Everyone did not care about the dead but the upkeep of the place. There was a freshly made grave that made me so frightened of what I would see. When I got closer, I saw the name of my grandmother on the tombstone. I heard a sound, a pitiful one.

It was a broken sound.

A broken voice.

It was mine.

"Clove."

I felt Cato's strong arms around me. I sobbed and felt so much pain in my chest that I almost wished I was back in the arena. The injuries I received there were nothing compared to this heart-shattering pain. I broke down in Cato's arms and he just stayed quiet as he knelt when I sunk to the ground. I have not cried so much in my life. I have never felt so heartbroken. It was a good thing that Cato was there, I had someone to cling to. He was my rock.

I didn't know how long I had been crying my eyes out but it was already dark when Cato helped me unto my feet and walked with me back to the Victor's Village. Our houses were across each other and we knew exactly which one was ours. The Capitol people always make the garden beautiful for the new Victors moving in. Most of the Victors, especially my mother, never bothered keeping their own gardens.

Cato took me in my new home. He carried me up the porch and placed me gently on the couch. I didn't speak. I didn't look at him. I just heard him move in the other room and he went back with a glass of water. Cato kneeled in front of me and looked up into my eyes. He took my hands and helped me drink.

"How are you?" He asked softly.

I sniffed and shrugged. I raised a hand and rubbed my eyes with it. "I don't know."

He nodded and smiled weakly. Cato took the glass from me and put it back to the kitchen. When he returned, he sat beside me and wrapped an arm around my form. I put my legs on the sofa and leaned on him. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

* * *

When I woke up, I was already snuggled in my bed. I had been tucked in and there was a glass of water on my bedside table. I felt empty that morning, as though my whole world has disappeared. Before and during the Games, one of my motivations was to go back here and take my grandmother away from Magdalena. She deserved a family who will take good care of her and I wanted to do that to her. She needed it. She deserved it.

Before I knew it, I started crying again.

"Clove?" Cato knocked on my bedroom door. He entered with a tray of food and sat down at the foot of my bed. He watched me carefully and took a deep breath, "The Mayor invited us for lunch." Cato lifted a plate of peeled apples and gave one small piece to me. I took it and wiped my tears. "Do you want to go?"

I took a bite from the apple and nodded, "Yes." After finishing the apple silently, I asked him, "Did you go to the party yesterday night?"

He shook his head and smiled at me, "I couldn't leave you."

* * *

The Mayor's lunch was boring. He had invited all the Victors, trainers and other important people along but the whole thing was all about me and Cato. Everyone talked about the Games and how they could never have guessed in a million years that we were coming back together. The mere thought of two Victors was unthinkable and it was nearly impossible for both tributes from the same District to come back. They all say we've made history.

After lunch, I had excused myself – I also told Cato that I needed an alone time. I went back to the cemetery and sat down on the grass just beside my grandmother's grave.

"I went back for you, you know." I said to no one in particular. I just wanted to let it all out. I wanted to finally tell my mother the things I never said to her. "I never got to thank you for being my _mother._ I never got to thank you for the times you comforted me when no one would, when even Magdalena wouldn't. I never got to thank you for the times you cooked breakfast for me especially before I go to the Career Center – you made me an exemption to the days when you space out. Thank you for the love I have never experienced with anyone." Tears started. "Even though I realized it too late. I love you, grandmother. I came back for you. Two came back for you."

I sobbed again.

Deep inside, I knew that my grandmother didn't want me to be sad about her death. I knew that I had to let this all out now. I knew she wanted me to be happy. She must be happy, especially since I have achieved my dreams. I just had to let it all out now so I wouldn't be too sad about it after. I will always remember my grandmother. I will always remember how she loved me.

I will always strive to love someone like that. I will always try to love Cato the way she did with me; a love that was pure and untainted. She taught me that and many things. I wanted her to be proud of me.

* * *

"Let's add this. This. This. That one!"

I didn't knock on the Byrnes' house in the Victor's Village. I only entered, hoping to find anyone. I heard voices in their kitchen and it was there that I found them. The twins were throwing flour around the room, Cassandra was seated on a high stool by the counter where their mother was kneading dough, and Cato was chasing them around the kitchen. I remembered the first time I met them, their house, though worn out and broken down, was the happiest place I've been in. The place changed but the atmosphere didn't.

"Clove." Cato's mother lifted her eyes and smiled wide at me, "Come in, come in." She was beautiful, as always.

The boys stopped running. Cyril and Cyrus squealed with glee and hugged me tightly, "We missed you Clove!"

"Now that you're back, are you going to teach me how to throw knives now?" They said in unison.

"Nah uh, she's gonna teach me first."

"I asked her first!"

Cato laughed and shook his head, "Tell you what, while Clove is teaching one of you how to throw knives, I can teach another how to use a sword. How does that sound?"

Both of them agreed. Cyril was going to study with me and Cyrus was going to study with Cato. The twins were so happy at the arrangement.

"Hey." Cato greeted me with a smile.

"Cato? Why don't you and Clove go to the sitting room? We'll cut the cookies first and then bring you tea later." His mother urged him.

Cato grinned at me and I nodded. "Thank you." I said before leaving them.

We walked to the sitting room in silence. It wasn't until we took a seat on the plush sofa by the window that I said something, "Thank you for last night and for this morning."

I caught Cato's cheeks turning pink before he smiled fondly at me, "Were you aware that I have loved you even before the party?" When my eyes went wide in shock, he continued, "I did. When I first saw you in the Career Center, my eyes never left you. At first, I thought you were so high and mighty. I thought I was only noticing you because I was irritated but year after year, I realized I liked you. You were different."

"I am." I smirked and he laughed.

"I wanted to take care of you, especially when I began to know you. You were broken, I wanted to fix you. You felt unloved, I wanted to make you feel loved. You were hurt, I wanted to heal you." Cato said softly, I could hear sincerity in his words. "In that arena, I wanted to protect you."

He paused and laughed again, "You didn't need protection. You could do everything yourself but I still wanted to be there. Especially when you needed me."

I moved my body so I could face him easily, "Cato?"

"Hm?"

"I need you. If you would allow me, I could also be there for you."

I don't know if the hug he gave me was an answer but…

I'd take it as a yes.


	5. Aftermath

**Chapter 5**

 **Aftermath**

I wasn't sure if it has been days or weeks or months but being with Cato and his family brought me the happiness I never thought I could have. So much that I could not realize how long it has been. After the Games, Cato and I could not distance ourselves from each other. We would stay in each other's house and if needed, we would spend only hours away from one another. Our sleeping arrangements were obvious to everyone in the Victor's Village and we have not heard any complaints from other people. We were not subtle especially with the fact that we sleep on the same bed – regardless of which house we would stay in.

Although we were not sure about where we stand in each other's lives, we stayed whoever we are in the Games and after. I actually forgot about all the lives I've managed to kill because Cato had been such a wonderful distraction.

The District received lovely gifts from the Capitol and since there were two Victors, the packages came in twos. Everyone had been incredibly happy around us and it was just then that I felt really proud about winning the Games. Adults would tell their children to train with swords and throwing knives. Children aspired to be exactly like us. Though I would not suggest they go in the Games without a purpose to clear all of the death out, I felt really happy about everything.

I have not talked to my mother for a long time. Although she still kept her appearances frequent in the District, she stayed clear away from me. I didn't want to make the effort to reach out to her, she has done enough damage to me for me to even care about talking to her. Brutus visited us once or twice, he would always invite us for a drink which we would turn down. Enobaria was almost always never home so I never got to see her and ask her about what she meant back in the train. I managed to talk with Lyme once and she had given me a quick congratulations.

Cato and I also started giving out lessons during the weekdays in our Career Center to occupy our days. During weekends, we would be teaching the twins. Calla and Blank were proud of what we had become. They were incredibly shocked, however, that Cato and I were together.

"I didn't see it." Calla said honestly.

Cato leaned on the wall and threw a smirk at me. "She's really annoying so I agreed to be with her." I tried to give him a punch but he quickly took hold of my wrist. "Always so feisty."

We tried to make _training children to be Careers_ our hobby but Spade did not allow us to. He said that although the Capitol turned a blind eye towards 1, 2 and 4's centers, they were not actually legal. Since Victors need hobbies – to show the Capitol how much of a human we still are – I needed to find one. So did Cato.

"You can make peeling apples your hobby." I teased him as we were walking back to the Victor's Village one day. "You can peel fruits."

"And you can be a complete psycho." He teased back.

I stuck out my tongue at him, "I have a hobby. I can bake." I caught the look on his face, which scrunched up in disbelief. His mother has been teaching me how to cook and bake whenever I am around to watch her. So far, I could do a decent batch of cookies. "And you? What else can you do?"

"Body building. I can train."

"But…" I pouted. "Spade said we cannot…"

Cato smirked, "We could. He said we could not train children but he did not say that we can't. I can do that. I could remain in shape and amuse the Capitol at the same time."

"Why didn't I think of that?"

"Oh?" Cato held back his laughter, "Maybe you were too busy baking those rock-hard cookies." He started laughing and I hit his arm. "I could build a house with them."

"Oh shut up."

We arrived by the Victor's Village and saw Peacekeepers outside Cato's home. Cato and I looked at each other and hurried to figure out what was going on. We passed by the men and saw a tall man waiting for Cato by the entrance hall. "Mr. Byrnes." He gestured for Cato to follow him and then he turned around and started walking.

I took hold of his wrist and he turned his head towards me, "Be careful. Tell me everything."

Cato chuckled and nodded, "You didn't have to say that. I was planning to." I let him go and watched as he followed the strange man towards the study. I was left alone in the room and felt completely out of place.

"It's him."

I saw Cassandra enter. She was still holding unto that ragged doll that she had when I first met her. Her eyes were wide in fear and she clung to me after entering the room.

"Who? Him?" I carried her up and looked at her face.

"The man in the television." She said softly. We have never exactly been close but I guess since Cato or her mother wasn't around, she needed someone to hold unto. I took her to the sitting room until we heard footsteps. I turned my head and saw President Snow walking out, the tall stranger, the one who called Cato, followed him. I set Cassandra down and led her to the study, we found Cato sitting on one of the red velvet chairs. He looked troubled one second but the moment he realized we were in the room, Cato's face brightened immediately.

"Hey." He stood up and took Cassandra in his arms, "Why the long face, Cassie?"

The blonde girl in his arms pouted, "You look sad."

"I'm not sad. Shall we go to the kitchen and bake cake for mom?" There was something wrong with him and he wasn't going to speak up about it. Maybe he was going to tell me when we're alone. Hopefully. Cato started making his way towards the kitchen and pulled me along with him. He was acting so casually that somehow, my fears and doubts were dissolved for a moment. I actually forgot about it the whole afternoon that we were baking but I managed to remember it when I saw Peacekeepers walking outside the Victor's Village.

"What did President Snow tell you?"

I asked as Cato led me up to his bedroom after dinner. He didn't speak as he opened the door and only did when we entered the room and he closed the door. "He was briefing me about the Victory Tour." He said casually. I followed him when he threw himself on the bed, "I told him that I would rely the message to you so he didn't bother meeting up with you." Cato closed his eyes.

I watched his large body as it was sprawled on the bed. I stared at his face for quite a while so Cato had to sit up and return the gaze, "Clove, I won't lie to you. Now, get in here and let me sleep." I refused and just leaned on the door. Cato growled softly. He stood up and walked towards me. I backed up on the solid wood behind me and glared at him, "You're so damn stubborn."

The last thing I knew was I was flung unto his shoulder and was thrown on the bed. My heart began to pace as Cato crawled right above me and took hold of both my wrists so I could not escape. "What the hell are you doing, Byrnes?" I heard a quiver in my own voice, "Cato…"

He leaned forward and kissed my neck, "Stubborn. So stubborn." I could feel Cato's breath on my skin – _damn! What the fuck is this?_ Cato continued kissing up my jawline and had taken my breath away. When he reached my lips, he took them in a hungry kiss. What surprised me the most is that no matter how inexperienced I am, I was responding to him as though I knew what I was doing. My blood raced as pleasure started. It was the first time I have ever felt this way and damn it, I never want to stop.

Cato let my wrists go and his hand traced the curves of my side. His hand stopped when he reached my thigh and he gave it a squeeze. That hand made its way to my core and I gasped as I felt him touch me. As though on cue, I moved my hips to his hand which made Cato chuckle softly. He caressed me above my pants and my head was going crazy. I closed my eyes tightly and felt his hand going up to my belly and sliding down under my pants.

The moment skin touched skin, I let out a moan.

When I realized it, I bit my lip but after a few minutes, I let that sound go again and Cato was having a good time hearing me.

He was quick. He had taken off my clothes after a few minutes and then it was followed by his. My eyes feasted on Cato's body – which had been matured by trainings and strengthened by the battle we won. I caught Cato's smirk when my eyes went back up to meet his. I nudged him a bit and he started laughing. Cato focused on me again and he gave me a look I have never seen anyone else give me. The was fondness, there was lust, there was love.

He was beautiful.

He was gentle.

Cato took me slowly. He was patient as I adjusted to the pain. He wiped a tear that I had unconsciously let go. With him, I felt like I was complete. With him, I felt safe. With him, I felt treasured.

With him, I felt loved.

They molded together as though pieces of jigsaw puzzles meant to complete each other. Through the silence, they could only heard their raging pulses, their need, and their pleasure. The night ended with their limbs tangled with each other and the white sheets of Cato's bed.


	6. Victory Tour

**Chapter 6**

 **Victory Tour**

The Victory Tour happens in between the end of the last game and the start of the next game. The main reason for this, I remember Magdalena telling me once, was for the excitement to continue in such a way that people still remember the heat of the last battle and look forward to the next one. I believed her – once. But now? I could hardly say that it had the same effect to me. I didn't want to go back to the memories I had in the arena, I wanted to move on from the killing I did there. I wasn't scared of them, I just didn't want to be a part of it anymore. The Hunger Games was of no use to me anymore. I won. I already got my freedom.

"We have to do this though, we have no choice but to update the Capitol of our lives." Cato drawled as he watched the announcement of the Tour on the television. He told me he was bored already and wanted something to do rather than just body-build. We were Careers and all our lives, we have been training. Winning the Games, however, gave us nothing to do when we got home. The feeling of satisfaction was fleeting and we were both facing a standstill in our lives. We have no more goal, no more dream, nothing to look forward to.

"Our stylists will be here tomorrow." I cringed, knowing how awful my first experience with them was. "I can't wait to be waxed again." I said with sarcasm dripping in my voice.

Cato laughed. His experience was better than mine although he had been waxed himself but unlike him, I am cleared from any body hair. "Well, at least they have something to do. That would take what? A few days to improve how you look like?"

I nudged him and pushed him off the couch.

He had a point though. After my last make-over in the Capitol, which was months earlier, I paid no mind to my appearance and went back to scrubbing my face clean and dressing myself up in my usual training clothes. The _mustache_ I had that Junius had the stylists wax off already grew back, he was going to freak out.

"What are we supposed to say though?" I turned to him as soon as the telecast ended. He was back beside me on the couch in my house and sighed, "I'm not a good people person. I don't please people."

"Oh c'mon, we did it before. After the Games, we had an interview." Cato turned his body towards me. "You drove them wild."

I laughed, "Well, they're different. That's the Capitol. They will only be our audience in the near end of the tour." The Districts were different. I have no idea how they can be. Besides, we will be facing the Districts whose tributes we killed in that arena.

Cato went silent for a moment and nodded, "I get it. Let us ask Andrew tomorrow. They're coming to prep us up and everything will fall back into place after that." He took my hand and smiled, "Now Clover, stop frowning."

"Shut the hell up, Byrnes."

He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me.

* * *

"What have you been doing?"

My prep team was furious. My nails were a mess, my hair was unkempt and my skin was scarred (Cato injured me once while he and I were teaching in the Center). They did their best to get me back into my polished Victor self. I sat still on my seat and let them do what they want. Enobaria had Cato talk some sense into me before I fought to get out of this chair. Cato and I talked – he promised me it will end soon.

It has been four hours.

How soon is soon?

"She's not skin and bones though and that is better. You should've seen her right after the Games." Junius glanced at me from the rack of clothes he has lovingly prepared for me for the tour. "We will have to give you a more casual look for this starting interview. When we go directly to District Twelve, we'll dress you up more."

The Tour will start off with an opening interview right in the Victor's Village and then we hop into the train to make our way towards the last District making our way up towards the Capitol. They will hold a party for us there and then we return back home. I don't have to worry about the speech I will have to make because Andrew already has our speeches written out. Thank goodness for our overly enthusiastic and overly prepared District Escort.

"Are we done?" I grumbled.

"Nearly." Junius muttered softly as he took clothes out of the racks he brought along with him. His parrots moved away from me as soon as they finished. I stood up and stretched my arms. "Can I pick?"

He turned to me and gave my clothes a glance. He took a minute and frowned, "No. You dress horribly." Junius turned back his attention on the outfits he was layering.

 _Calm down, Clove. Calm down._

I let my mind drift to the interview being set up just outside our doors. Cassie had been excited to see the Capitol people. She was amused at their color while the twins were so repulsed that they declined to go downstairs to meet anyone. They locked themselves in their bedrooms.

"Okay. I'm good with this." Junius exclaimed as he turned his attention back to me. His team gushed at it and soon enough I was dressed up in black and fur. It has been a rather cold month so Junius had to cover me up in a coat which his team disliked because my full black outfit actually looked good.

Everyone heard Caesar Flickerman's voice in the sitting room and Junius freaked out. "Andrew said we should be ready by the time Caesar announces the interview!" They started to lead me to the front door. "Alright Clove, smile! Everyone is anticipating to see you and Cato!"

The door opened and I am blinded by light.

"And there she is! Clove Holt!" I hear Caesar's voice resound. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I could see Andrew, Enobaria, Brutus and Magdalena just behind the cameras. I was frozen on my spot as I see my mother for the first time in months. She looked pale. She looked thin.

"Clover!"

I felt my body being lifted up. "Shit! Cato!" Cato laid me on his shoulder and grinned as he brought me to the center. There was laughter and I frowned deeply as I was set on my feet.

"Nerves, dear Clove?" Caesar's voice woke me up.

"Yes Caesar, I'm sorry." I laughed softly – trying to make it sound like it was real. I felt really bad now and I don't even know why.

"How are you?" The disembodied voice asked, "We've been dying to get a glimpse of you ever since the Games!"

"We've never been better, Caesar." Cato took over. He was better than me in dealing with people and crowds. "The Games gave us the time we never thought we need."

"And we've been using it well, haven't we?" I looked up at Cato, who was grinning down at me. "We've never been better."

Caesar let out a sound, "Details! Details!"

Cato shook his head and nudged me, "Oh Caesar, we never kiss and tell." I managed to say with a small smirk.

"That's so typical of you, Clove!" Caesar laughed, "Well then, we'll be checking the both of you during the Victory Tour. Thank you so much Clove Holt and Cato Byrnes!" The cameras pulled back and both Cato and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Four hours for a few minutes, convenient." Cato laughed as he let me go from his grasp. "You look sane again, Clover." He looked at me, "But always beautiful." It was not always that Cato would compliment me other than my knife skills so I almost always turn pink.

"Stop it."

We were then whisked away by our Mentors towards the train. Our bags were ready and we already said goodbye to Cato's family. It will be twelve days but we will miss them immensely.

"I've already written your speeches so you don't have to worry." Andrew spoke up as he took a bite into a strawberry from the pile in the middle of the table in the dining area. "I am in love with these. Ever since we discovered from your Mentors how much you love strawberries and apples, we had to have them! District Eleven has been shipping so many to the Capitol."

I turned my eye towards Enobaria and Brutus. "You're welcome." Brutus laughed as he poured himself another glass of wine. "You'll be having busy days, might as well indulge in your favorite food, right?"

"That's true." Cato nodded as he reached out for an apple.

* * *

District Twelve was a barren wasteland.

It was the poorest District and it looked the part. The buildings and houses we've passed were worn down, almost as though everything has been abandoned. The armored car's window was too small but I could see everything. "Is this for real?" I turned to my companions.

"Yes. Sit down." Enobaria said with gritted teeth. We were with two Peacekeepers and although we were all fighters, we'd rather not speak more about this. "We'll arrive in a few minutes. Read from the cue cards and everything will be fine."

I sat down and met Cato's eyes. He nodded and just pursed his lips. I sat in silence as we drove towards the District Twelve's Justice Building. I could feel something in my chest – guilt, maybe. Katniss and Peeta's faces flashed in my mind. They were two kids fighting for their lives so they could go back home…

Like us.

"Alright. We're here. Follow us." A Peacekeeper opened the door and led us out. There was a line of Peacekeepers waiting for us, they were all standing in attention as we passed by.

"Why all the security, Brutus? Is it normal?" I could hear Cato whispering to Brutus right behind me.

"No." Brutus answered, "I'll tell you later."

The District's Justice Building was situated in the middle of the town, much like ours, but theirs was filled with deafening silence while ours had life and spirit. We enter through the back and the scent of ash was replaced by food – glorious food which not many of Twelve's citizens may get to eat. Andrew started instructing people and soon enough microphones were clipped in our clothes. I was dressed in deep green and Cato was in dark blue; Junius loved putting dark colors on us since they make our skin paler in comparison.

The sound of the anthem began to play. The voice of the District Mayor came after, he introduced us to the District. I almost didn't want to go out and I made sure Cato sees this hesitation. He took my hand and squeezed it, he understood. The doors opened and there was applause. It was brief and polite, I could say it was forced since we were the ones responsible for the deaths of their tributes. The place was packed with people, all looking at us with mixed expressions. There were people who looked angry, there were some who looked like they were desperate, there were even ones who looked like they don't even care anymore.

Cato led me towards the stage. I caught a glimpse at the two special platforms on the two sides – the families of the fallen tributes. I could hardly hear the speech being given by the mayor because I was looking at them. Peeta's family were standing on my left. He had two older brothers who looked much more fit than he did. One of his brothers looked not that older than him and yet no one volunteered for him. Aside from the fact that we were enemies in the arena, Peeta seemed good-natured and likable. His father looked like he was about to cry but was trying not to. Peeta's mother was a different story all together. She was angry. She was angry at me, at us, for killing off her son. Her eyes met mine so I turned away.

I don't feel powerful right now.

On my right was Katniss' family. There were only two of them there. They were both blondes and if I was not aware that these were the fallen tributes' families, I wouldn't have guessed they were related to Katniss. While she had darker hair, they were both fair and lithe. Katniss' mother had a vacant look on her face, almost like she was feeling nothing anymore. By her was the little girl whom Katniss volunteered for during the reaping.

Her sister.

The little girl was smaller than I was and that is saying something. She reminded me of someone… _Rue._ She was crying, heartbroken because of her sister's fate in my hands. I felt my breath get stuck in my throat.

 _Is this what I have become?_

When I worried about being a murderer before, it was because I just didn't want anyone's blood on my hands. But now, there was something more than just their blood, there was the fault on me that I took someone's child, someone's sibling, someone's loved one.

I wanted to run.

But I couldn't.

"Clove?" Cato tapped me on my shoulder, "Do you want to say something?" He held my arm steady and knew I was having problems.

I shook my head and just bit my lip. I felt like I'm about to faint.

The Mayor stepped forward and handed us a plaque which Cato accepted both since I had a large bouquet in my hands (I couldn't remember who handed this to me). After that, we were escorted back inside and I felt Cato's arm over my shoulders.

"Clove, are you alright? You look pale. Do you need to sit down?" Cato started fussing.

Andrew sauntered over to us in a hurry, "What is it? Is there something wrong?" Behind him was Enobaria and Brutus. "Oh! You look sick! Can someone get me water please?" Our District Escort turned and started shouting.

"Can you get us private quarters, Brutus? I think Clove needs to rest." Cato said softly and someone from Twelve lead us to a room with plush chairs, much like the ones I have in my house. Cato kept me in his sight as I laid down and closed my eyes. "What's wrong? You're not sick, are you?"

"Didn't you see them?" I murmured as I opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling. Cato made his way to the sofa across mine.

"I did." Cato answered softly, "Who wouldn't?"

"How can you not feel sick knowing we killed off both Peeta and Katniss on purpose? It isn't even like Glimmer who we had to leave behind." I covered my face with my hands, "I tortured Katniss till she died. I threw away the medicine for Peeta." I went silent for a minute, "Fuck. Fuck this all. Fuck the Games. Fuck this life."

Cato sighed and took in my quick burst of anger without a word. "I felt sick but what's done is done. We needed to do it. We needed to win. In the end, it is either them or us."

I glanced at Cato and noticed that he looked upset himself. I didn't realize he felt that way – which was dumb of me because between the two of us, Cato had more heart.

"And like the Games," Cato added, "We cannot bare our true selves to anyone. We're being watched. We're always being watched." He leaned forward and said in a hushed tone, "Brutus said the number of Peacekeepers in this place isn't usual and I believe him. There is something wrong. There has to be something wrong."

"What should we do?"

Cato shook his head, "Nothing. We don't know what's happening yet and even if we do, I'm not going to get in the middle of things. I don't want anything to do with problems. I've already gave that up after the Games. I need to keep my family away from that. I need to keep that away from you too so don't do anything rash."

I sat up, "I won't. I don't think I could do what I managed to do before."

"What?"

"Think of only myself."

* * *

In the duration of the Tour in the Districts, I avoided looking at the families of the dead Tributes. It made me sick knowing that the kids I killed off in the Arena were actual human beings with people who loved and valued them outside the Capitol. My mind was wired not to acknowledge their humanity. I tried not to give importance to all the little details I seem to pick up in the whole tour. I avoided the sight of the little siblings of little Rue, who hauntingly looked a lot like them. I avoided the twin brother of the handicapped boy from Ten who we found withered before his demise. I looked away from the single stage used in District Four. I avoided the eyes of the baby sibling of the boy from Three. I pretended not to see the look of disappointment and shame on the faces of Glimmer's older sisters. I tried… I tried not to see the place where Marvel's parents stood, childless.

Cato took over in times when I couldn't manage to speak. He sensed my desperation and stood firm for the both of us. He led me through speeches and dinners. Cato stayed by my side at night whenever I start to cry for the lives I took.

Enobaria, who was usually cool as a cucumber, took pity on me. She said, "I'm sorry Clove but this is just the start of everything. I told you," Her dark brown eyes stared into mine, "I told you to enjoy it while it lasted. The nightmare is only beginning."


	7. Nightmares

**Chapter 7**

 **Nightmares**

When we arrived in the Capitol, the feeling of guilt left me but I know this will only be for a while. The people welcomed us with their arms opened wide – we were celebrities. Cato and I felt the same feeling we had when we won. We were celebrated. We were the recent Victors, and the current Capitol favorites. I took it in and finally, I felt genuinely proud of winning the 74th Hunger Games. Cato felt the same.

"Now this is the welcome we've been waiting for!" Brutus laughed as we exited the train. There was a colorful crowd outside, they were all waiting for us with excitement. As soon as Cato and I stepped out of the train behind Brutus and Enobaria, the people grew wild. They shouted our name as loud as they could; they tried to reach out to us as if touching us would mean something in their lives. "Take it all in."

Andrew was just right behind us, he was telling us something about the schedule for that day. Cato and I shared a look – we knew what the day would be like. We would have to give speeches and then go to a dinner then finally, hop to a train to take us back home to Two. This time, however, we're not just going to have a normal dinner, "A party in the President's Mansion! Everyone who's everyone will be there."

We were taken to the Training Center and were given our floor back when we were just tributes. They wanted to be sentimental, I didn't like it. Later that day, we would appear in an interview with Caesar Flickerman. That was their version of the whole Justice Hall speech thing.

Caesar had the same life in him as he had before and it was a relief since I wasn't in the mood to be talkative. As always, Cato spoke for the both of us. He pleased the crowd with his words – back then he used to play the cocky Tribute but now he seemed like the proud Victor who was so sure of himself.

"I think everyone is excited for the Quarter Quell because this year we will have you as mentors." Caesar mentioned with a bright grin, "Any thoughts about that?"

"We're excited too. The Quell always bring surprises which are always awesome. It is just our luck to actually be first time mentors in such a great event." Cato answered casually.

Caesar nodded happily, "I agree! So, can we expect surprises from you two as mentors this year too?"

"Well, it wouldn't be much of a surprise if we brought home another Victor this year." I finally spoke up which gained applause from the crowd, "We'll continue the winning streak. It would be such a pity to actually lose in our first year, isn't it Cato?"

"I couldn't agree more." He leaned back on the sofa and smirked.

"Such a deadly couple." Caesar nodded appreciatively. "So Cato, what about your plans for your future?" He leaned forward with a grin, "Specifically, your future with your dear Clove?"

We glanced at each other and shared the similar wide smile, "No plans yet." Cato laughed as he turned his attention back to the Capitol who were all at the edge of their seats. "All I know is if this girl kept up with me in the Games, then she is worth keeping."

"Kept up with you?" I smirked, "You had to tell me off to not kill you whenever you sleep at night." Caesar gave off a good-natured laugh and thanked us for being there with them. We were then whisked off to another costume change for dinner at the Mansion. Our prep teams were frantic, they said it was the event of the year and that they wanted to make an impression. They dressed both me and Cato in black and red, it was our suggestion because I would wear nothing bright and happy.

"Alright, this is not just a party. This is _the_ party." Andrew told us with giddiness oozing out of him. "Not like the dinner in the Districts, we are attending the biggest party where everyone who's anyone will attend. It is an honor!"

Enobaria sighed, "People will introduce themselves to you. Be welcoming. Be friendly. Photos will be taken. Be gracious." Then she turned to me, "Yes, I'm talking to you Clove."

"Hey!"

Brutus smirked, "Shall we then?"

The President's Mansion was bigger than what I first remembered it to be. We were here once but I haven't been here for a while. The decorations wowed me. The music awed me. And the food? Speechless. There were so many people who welcomed us inside. We were the guests-of-honor, we were the ones everyone has been waiting for. Enobaria was right, this party was filled by people – looking more audacious and extravagant than usual – and they wanted to have our photos. Bearing in mind that these people were responsible for the bag we received during the Feast in the Games, I decided to be civil. They were really happy to see us.

We met the important people that Andrew, Enobaria, and Brutus were telling us about. They were more comical than the others. That was basically how you distinguish the richer of the bunch. They would be the ones with features which hardly makes up a human being. They would be the ones with the bigger accents and the brighter colors. They would mostly resemble birds, more like peacocks and ostriches. Their skin would be embedded by jewelry – not just hanging from their necks or wrists but actually embedded on their skin.

These were the people who had money to spare.

And they spent on us.

The group of our sponsors got the chance to monopolize us all for themselves. I noticed how Andrew and our mentors blended in the crowd without any sound. Cato didn't look like he minded. He was showering the women with praises. He was giving them more attention than he has given me the years we spent together. It was obvious they were flirting with him.

Why the hell was he flirting back?

"Here you are Clove." I was snapped out of my daze by one of the male sponsors. He was handing me a flute of pink wine – it smelled outrageously sweet. I cringed at the scent and scowled at them all. I met Cato's eyes, which were blank, and stormed away from them.

"Enobaria, I want to go."

Enobaria looked at me. I expected her to tell me off for being such a diva but she just put her plate down on the table nearest to her and nodded. She took my arm and led me out. "Now, do you understand what I meant?"

No. I still didn't but the way Cato was acting, I just had to get out.

* * *

We have been home for days.

But Cato… Cato hasn't been talking to me. The ride home was quiet, I was pissed at him and it seemed like he doesn't even care. He was glancing out of the window, as though nothing mattered. As though I didn't matter. By the time we got back to the District, we went our separate ways. He went back to his house and I went back to mine (which was foreign to me because I have been staying at Cato's).

It wasn't the first time that I felt like I was alone but it was the first time I actually was. I didn't have anyone. I didn't have my mother, my grandmother, and Cato. My house in the Victor's Village was empty. I was empty.

 _Get it together, Clove._

The silence did nothing for my head, it was just deafening. I missed the sound of Cato breathing beside me as he slept, the laughter of the twins which wakes me up in the morning, the calm voice of Celestine as she prepared food for everyone in their house, and the soft rustling movement that announces Cassandra's presence. I missed all of that. I missed all of them.

I missed Cato.

I groaned and sat up on my bed. I decided to take a walk and clear up my head. _Yes, that'll do the trick. I should visit grandmother too._ Taking my coat on my way out the door, I flung it to myself carelessly and hurried off. I don't want to get a glimpse of Cato's house anymore.

"Ah, there she is. The Capitol Favorite."

I recognized that voice – it was the only one which could make my skin crawl. The scars in my forearms almost felt painful upon hearing that voice again.

"What? You're too famous to even greet your mother?" Magdalena drawled on as she watched me from her front porch. She laughed, "Oh dear, that fame went to your head. I made you, Clove, I made you."

I turned my head at her sharply, my anger starting to boil up. "Shut up, mother!" I growled at her, "You did not make me. You destroyed me."

"That may be so." She sauntered over and leaned on the railing of the porch, "But without that, can you even be a Victor on your own? I doubt." Magdalena looked drunk, "I would be proud of you, Clove, but sharing the crown with someone else? Refusing to kill for the crown? That's just sick." She laughed.

I bit my tongue and refused to speak anymore. If I say something, she'd just taunt me more.

"And please, do you think that young man will love you? He will never truly love you with all the Capitol women throwing themselves at him." Magdalena added. She took a swig of alcohol from the bottle I didn't realize she had in her hand, "Like many others, he will have so much fun in the Capitol. Taking women in bed and all." There was pure mirth plastered all over her face, "Oh, and the occasional men."

I felt cold. "What?"

"Oh c'mon Clove. Why do you think Enobaria has been absent in the District most of the time? Why is Brutus usually gone? Do you know why most Victors are not married?" She leaned on the banister, "We get fucked off in the Capitol. Too harsh a word? I'm not going to sugarcoat this like Finnick Odair who usually says he provides company." Magdalena's eyes gleamed under the light of the post near us. "I saw the President leave their house. Yes. That was it. That should have been your give away."

She stood and walked over to where I was, "Your boyfriend goes off to the Capitol to fuck around."

"Take that back! Cato won't do that!" I pushed my mother and tackled her to the ground. I forgot how strong she was regardless of her drunk stupor and her height. She gave me a resistance that topped Katniss Everdeen's effort. "Cato," I took a deep breath as I finally pinned her down, "Will never do that."

Magdalena bravely held my gaze, "Ask him."

* * *

I found myself in front of the Byrne's front door. I raised my hand to knock but it was foolish to wake up people when I only needed Cato. Knowing where his bedroom is, I climbed up and got in through his bedroom window. It took me a few minutes longer than I would if I had been training.

Unfortunately, Cato wasn't there.


End file.
